My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
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I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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