he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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