well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
