Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
