i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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