I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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