doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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