Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
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My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
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The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
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