Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize