I'm so fucking centered right now
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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