there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
