We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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