we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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