just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
