nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
