..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Enjoy the penises
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
