I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
