So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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