he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
