it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
whose ass print is on the piano?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
