I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
