new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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