Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
