do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
