i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
