They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
