idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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