Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize