I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize