He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
