the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
