So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake