is your mom at the bar?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?