Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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