ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night