Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
