i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
