dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
