by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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