He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
