Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
