What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
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Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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