everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
