This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
God, I missed his penis.
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