Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
