I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
