They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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