His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize