He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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