Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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