Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize