stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Even my vagina gasped.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
