Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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