go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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