the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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