i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
