If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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