I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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