So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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