Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
