yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
