Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
