pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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